


Dude, You’re Acting Weird

by nicesprite



Category: South Park
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Bromance to Romance, Eventual Smut, Flirts like there's no tomorrow, Fluff and Humor, I promise, Kyle is easily provoked, Lovesickness, M/M, Making Out, Mutual Pining, Protective Stan, Secret Crush, Stan will do fucking anything for Kyle, Super ultra flirty Stan, Unwittingly possessive Kyle, grey zone between friends and lovers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-10
Updated: 2019-04-08
Packaged: 2019-08-21 16:58:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 11,494
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16580426
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nicesprite/pseuds/nicesprite
Summary: Stan has been acting really weird lately. He seemingly has lost the ability to get off his bed on his own. Kyle has to come to his house and drag him out of the bed almost every day.***“Stan, let me go,” Kyle says eventually, sounding breathless. He means to give Stan an order, but it comes out like a plead.“Never,” Stan replies almost instantly, “I’ll never let you go, dude. I love you.”





	1. A Lazy Morning

**Author's Note:**

> This is my very first fan-fiction (yay!) It is supposed to be a lighthearted piece so you can expect fluffiness and some silly humor of mine. I aim to give y'all diabetes lol and I really do hope it'll make you smile at some point. Hope you enjoy it.

Stan has been acting really weird lately. He seemingly has lost the ability to get off his bed on his own. Kyle has to come to his house and drag him out of the bed almost every day.

 

7:42 am. Kyle enters Stan’s house using the spare key that Stan gave him. The house is quiet and empty. It seems both Stan’s parents have already left the house to work. Stan’s hateful sister moved out for college last month so currently there’s only one person in this house. Kyle goes upstairs to Stan’s bedroom. The redhead rolls his eyes as he sees the giant lump of a sleeping Stan Marsh on the bed. He walks to the bed to give his best friend a shove, trying to wake him up. The heavy weight on the bed only moves a little. Stan has gotten quite big over the years into playing football.

 

“Stan, wake up. We’re going to be late,” Kyle says.

 

Stan responds with a groan. He seems to have no intention to get off the bed. Kyle is getting impatient. He leans down and starts shaking Stan with both of his hands.

 

“Stan? Stan. _Stanley_! Just wake the hell up already! We're--” The rest of the speech is replaced by a squeak. One moment Kyle feels an arm around his waist and the next he's already lying on the bed. Precisely speaking, he's lying on top of the person on the bed.

 

“Stan?” Kyle finds himself trapped between Stan’s arms and chest. Being this close to Stan makes him feel tiny in comparison. Kyle is not exactly short, but Stan is at least a head taller than him. He tries to pull himself away, but Stan has arms that can effortlessly throw a football 60 yards, so Kyle is not going anywhere. Stan holds the smaller redhead close. Kyle feels his cheek heats up as it touches the hot skin of the quarterback’s bare chest. Damn, Stan is sleeping shirtless again. Kyle hopes his jock friend at least has his boxer briefs on because sometimes he _doesn’t_.

 

Kyle feels his best friend is gently rubbing his nose against the top of his head. Stan is never shy to express his affection for Kyle’s ginger curls. Probably because he knows Kyle doesn’t like his own hair. When they’re small, he always told Kyle his curls are cool because they’re fluffy. Though Kyle didn’t consider it as a compliment, he always appreciated Stan’s effort to make him feel better. But lately Stan’s display of affection is not limited to verbal comments. He develops a habit of nuzzling Kyle’s locks whenever he gets a chance and Kyle can never get used to it.

 

“...Kyle.” Stan’s sleepy, husky voice calls his name like a sigh. Kyle’s breath hitches. Stan’s musky scent is thick in the air. Something about his scent is hypnotizing. The idea of skipping school and staying here with Stan is becoming more and more appealing. It’s getting harder to think straight and the room is getting really stuffy right now.

 

“Stan, let me go,” Kyle says eventually, sounding breathless. He means to give Stan an order, but it comes out like a plea.

 

“Never,” Stan replies almost instantly, “I’ll never let you go, dude. _I love you_.” The last bit irritates the hell out of Kyle, but it doesn’t stop his heart from fluttering. He knows exactly what Stan means and what he _doesn’t mean_. Kyle just hates that Stan loves whispering stupid sweet things to him when he’s holding him and makes it sound like he could mean what he certainly, 100% _doesn’t mean_. It makes things weirder than it needs to be. Why does Stan have to be such a clingy friend?

 

“You shouldn’t say it to me. Say that to Wendy instead,” Kyle whispers.

 

“But I want you to know I love you _too_ ,” Stan whispers back.

 

Kyle feels like someone throws a bucket of ice water at him. A nameless rage rises in Kyle’s chest. He slaps, punches, kicks and even bites Stan like a madman until the dark-haired boy finally loosens his iron grip. Kyle takes the chance and wriggles his way out.

 

“Ow! Dude, what gives?” Stan props his upper body up with his elbows. Bed covers slide down to reveal the athlete’s tanned chest and rock-hard stomach. Kyle can’t look at the sight without blushing, so he looks away. He’s still not sure if Stan is wearing anything below the waist but he doesn’t think he wants to find out. Fuck Stan and fuck his underwear.

 

Confused by Kyle’s sudden frenzy, Stan looks down to examine the state of his left shoulder. He frowns as he sees Kyle leaves several teeth marks on him. It doesn’t hurt too much but it seems the marks will stick with him for a few days. Stan knows he is going to have a hard time explaining this to his girlfriend and he doesn’t want to think about that right now.

 

“I told you to let go,” says Kyle with a self-satisfied smirk. He swiftly gets off the bed and is shocked as he looks at the clock which reads 7:58. They're going to miss the bus as there's no way they can get to the bus stop in 2 minutes.

 

“Shit, it’s almost eight!” Kyle pulls the covers off without thinking twice and thank fuck that Stan does have his boxer briefs on. The raven head groans in protest. Kyle ignores him and throws a shirt in his face.

 

“Get up and get dressed. You’re driving me to school today,” Kyle demands. He is proud that he doesn’t sound like pleading this time.

 

* * *

 

 

It’s lunch time. Kyle is sitting at a table with his tray of food. Out of boredom, he looks around and a dark-haired boy sitting at another table across the cafeteria attracts his attention. Kyle knows that guy well. They basically grew up together as they knew each other since elementary school. It is not much of a surprise that the raven head eventually turned out to be a woman magnet. He was good-looking when he’s six and he’s even better looking a decade later. There’s no denying that sixteen looks good on him. Kyle overheard some girls called him ‘walking sex with two legs’. Objectively speaking, he is tall, strong and handsome, in fact, so handsome that it makes him look intimidating. His deep blue eyes look icy cold as always. He now looks annoyed, possibly because he’s surrounded by a bunch of chicks who don’t know when to quit.

 

Kyle snorts. That guy is an asshole and he treats people like shit. Girls are so dumb and shallow, always throw themselves to handsome bad boys who would definitely break their hearts. There are nice guys who are just as attractive. Kyle can think of one such guy immediately. He has the same silky dark hair and sapphire blue eyes, and he’s just as tall and strong. His face is perfectly chiseled like an art masterpiece and he basically looks like a fucking Greek god when he takes his shirt off. Unlike that apathetic asshole, he is caring, considerate and sweet. Girls should totally throw themselves to guys like him instead.

 

“Why are you staring at Craig?” Kenny asks as he sits down across the table. The blond takes a homemade sandwich out of a paper bag.

 

“Huh? No, I'm not,” Kyle blurts. He feels like he has been caught red-handed but he actually didn’t do anything wrong.

 

“You totally did, dude,” says Kenny while raising an eyebrow, “did he do something to you?”

 

“No,” Kyle replies, dragging on the vowel. Then he pauses for a bit. “Craig’s an asshole,” he adds as he feels he has to clarify that to Kenny. The blond doesn’t say anything. He puts on a serious face and silently scrutinizes the redhead.

 

“You know what, Kyle?” Kenny finally opens his mouth, “ _you've been acting really weird lately._ ”

 

“W-wait, what? _Me_? I-I...but…” Kyle splutters as he is taken aback by what Kenny just said. He notices he’s making a fool out of himself so he takes a deep breath and collects himself.

 

“Don't you think _Stan_ is the one acting weird?” Kyle asks, sounding harsher than he intends to be. He tries to keep his voice steady but it still trembles a little.

 

“No,” Kenny says slowly, “something wrong with him, you think?”

 

Before Kyle can reply, someone drops a tray on the table and hugs the redhead from behind.

 

“I miss you, dude,” Stan says with so much fondness in his voice that it doesn’t sound like a joke. Kyle feels that Stan just kissed on his hat. He didn’t actually see it so he isn’t sure, but he is sure that Stan’s chin is now resting on top of his hat.

 

“What are you guys talking about?” Stan asks. He is still hugging Kyle from behind.

 

Kenny, who is sitting right in front of the duo, remains unfazed the entire time, like there’s nothing weird about the entire display. Since Kyle isn’t answering, the blond opens his mouth to answer Stan’s question.

 

“Kyle just said--”

 

“Kenny!” Kyle interjects, glaring at the blond who just gave him a mini heart attack. Kenny smirks, looking like he’s amused by the redhead’s reaction. Another voice chimes in.

 

“Why don’t you _fags_ just get a room? Nobody here wants to see this _gay_ shit,” Cartman sneers. He puts down his tray on the table and sits beside Kenny.

 

“Shut up, fatass!” Kyle instantly yells out of reflex. The fact that Cartman is the only one who can see the weirdness in Stan’s behavior gives Kyle mixed feelings. Kyle hates to agree with Cartman but the things Stan said and did to him are indeed very... _coupley_.

 

“Or what, _filthy Jew_? You can’t make me!” Cartman retorts, daring the redhead to fight him. It’ll be very foolish for Kyle to fight him as the weight difference and height difference between them are huge. Cartman, who stands at close to 6 feet and weighs over 180 pounds, is basically a human tank. Kyle, however, is a human kite in comparison. A single punch from Cartman can probably send him flying all the way to the seventh heaven. However, Kyle is properly riled up and he tends to be very impulsive when he is seeing red. Before he does anything stupid, he feels cold as the surrounding warmth leaves him all of a sudden.

 

“Or I’ll kiss you right here, right now and you don’t want that,” Stan says as he stands up to his full height, his voice calm but commanding, “don’t you, Cartman?”

 

And that effectively shuts Cartman up. Stan sits down next to Kyle and starts eating like nothing happened. Kenny is laughing so hard that his eyes are teary, his face is all red and he’s struggling to catch a breath. Meanwhile, Kyle is frozen. His mind automatically plays the image of Stan forcing a kiss on Cartman. That’s so wrong on so many levels. Normally, Kyle would find anyone kissing that lumpy pile of fat turd disgusting and traumatizing but the idea of a bossy Stan forcing himself on the pathetic fat lard, dominating him to teach him a lesson is kind of...hot? Kyle can’t believe what he’s thinking, maybe he _is_ weird after all. He feels his face heats up. He is seriously embarrassed by his own thoughts but he can’t help but wonder whether Stan would actually kiss Cartman if he didn’t shut up. Kyle is debating with himself whether he wants to watch that.

 

“Dude, you alright? You’ve been quiet,” Stan asks. His deep blue eyes are filled with concern.

 

“Hm? Oh yeah,” Kyle blurts as he snaps out of his crazy daze. He hears Kenny is telling a joke and Butters is giggling. He was so deep into his thoughts that he didn’t even know when Butters has joined them.

 

“You sure? Cause you’re acting weird--”

 

“I’m not acting weird!” Kyle yells. He doesn’t realize how loud he is until he notices people in five other tables are watching him like he’s a total nut-job. His friends are looking at him worryingly.

 

“I need to go to the bathroom.” The redhead abruptly stands up and leaves the table, unaware of Stan’s wistful eyes following his retreating back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pleeeeeease leave me a kudos or comment and tell me what you think. I'm not a native English speaker so if you find any problems in grammar or word choice or whatever, please do tell me about it. Thanks in advance.
> 
> Next chapter will contain a tiny bit of angst, I think. I'm still plotting it though.


	2. Best Friend Like You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kenny explains what he thinks about Kyle and Stan. Kyle wonders what Stan really means to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this is a good chapter for you. I know nothing about high school football and high school in US in general so I'm sorry if I got anything wrong.

Kyle changed his clothes for gym class, but he doesn’t feel like doing anything today. Instead, he sits alone in the bleachers, sulking. He hugs his slender legs close to his chest, his big emerald green eyes are shooting daggers at the source of his trouble, aka Stan Marsh, who is now playing basketball with other boys. Kyle watches him jump from half-court and shoot. The basketball draws a perfect arc in mid-air then falls right into the hoop. Impressive. The raven head cheerfully high-fives a teammate before getting back to position, paying no attention to some girls’ high-pitched cheer and his best friend’s sullen gaze.

 

Kyle lost his shit twice today, he even managed to embarrass himself in the cafeteria. Clearly, it is all Stan’s fault. Kyle wouldn’t freak out if Stan didn’t act weird. He wonders why Stan acts like that. He wonders if Stan is just messing with him, if it’s some kind of a very elaborated prank, if Stan is going to tell him tomorrow that he did it for a bet and everything will go back to normal. Kyle’s heart wrenches. He shakes his head, dismissing the thought. Stan is not Cartman. Stan doesn’t fuck around and makes cruel jokes to people. Plus, he sounds so sincere everytime he says he misses him and that he _loves_ him. The warmth in his voice makes Kyle feel things. He feels there is a strange attraction between them, but it can’t be real. They’re _best friends_ since forever and Stan is like a brother to him. Besides, Kyle is 100% positive that he is 100% straight. He’s equally sure it is the same case for Stan. Hell, the guy has a girlfriend. So it goes back to the same question -- why the hell does Stan act like that?

 

Kyle’s mind is an entangled mess because of Stan. Oblivious to the mess he’s made, Stan smirks as he scores another three-pointer. Kyle just wants to throw a basketball to that stupid handsome face.

 

“Sup bitch?” Kyle looks up to see the smirking face of Kenny, who doesn’t even bother to change into his gym clothes. Sometimes Kenny wears an air of smugness that screams fuckboy but guess what, girls like that about him.

 

“Nothing, faggot,” Kyle says. The laid-back blond grins at the redhead as he sits down next to him.

 

“Aww what’s that pooface? You’re on a period?” Kyle gives the blond the finger, but the gesture only amuses the blond more. He seriously thinks he may need to reconsider his choice of friends because apparently all his friends are dicks.

 

“So you don’t wanna talk about you,” Kenny says, staring at the redhead’s face, “we’ll talk about _Stan_ then.” The blond smirks as he catches the redhead’s eyes widen slightly. _Jackpot_. “Something wrong with him, you said?” The redhead purses his lips.

 

“...He hugs me all the time,” Kyle finally speaks after a moment of silence, “don’t you think it’s kind of, like... _gay_?”

 

“Not gayer than usual, I’ll say,” Kenny says, looking surprised, “I thought you don’t care. He’s like that since middle school, you know.”

 

Kyle wants to say that Stan wasn’t 6”3 back then and was definitely not so ripped when he’s in middle school but that sounds horribly wrong.

 

“Well...we’ve grown up,” Kyle says, twiddling his thumbs, “it’s weird now.”

 

“Not at all,” Kenny says with a genuine smile, “It’s _cute_. It’s just like watching a dog snuggling with his owner, you know. I mean, when Stan is around you, he’s like a giant dog that thinks he’s a little puppy. Don’t you think so?”

 

Kyle snorts as he stifles a laugh. That is probably is the cutest and most accurate simile Kyle has ever heard, but he cannot ignore the underlying statement in what Kenny just said.

 

“I...I’m not _his_ owner, Kenny, and Stan is not _my_ dog.” Kyle pauses before he adds, “if anyone should be his owner, it should be Wendy.”

 

“Nah bro,” says Kenny, staring right into Kyle’s eyes, “ _Wendy may be his girlfriend but you’re his owner._ ”

 

Kyle is speechless. What the hell is that supposed to mean?

 

“Just wave at him. You’ll see what I mean,” says Kenny as if he can read his mind.

 

Kyle is doubtful, but he does it anyway. As soon as Stan catches the sight of Kyle waving at him, the raven head breaks into a smile so bright like he wins the lottery, or he sees the best thing in the world. That’s so cute that makes Kyle want to shriek like a girl. He can’t stop smiling but he also feels very embarrassed for his best friend. Stan calls a timeout and he doesn’t walk but fucking _jogs_ to the redhead who is now _mortified_. Kyle can’t believe he didn’t notice it before Kenny mentioned it, because Stan looks very much like a giant blue-eyed husky bringing back a stick to his owner when he jogs to Kyle with that goofy smile all plastered on his face. A strapping lad like Stan shouldn’t be described as ‘adorable’ but Kyle simply can’t find a better word. How is it even possible for a guy so cool to be so adorable at the same time? Kyle is sure that his face is now as red as his hair. He just wants to leave and hide in a hole or something.

 

“Hey dudes, whatcha doing?” Stan asks, still smiling ever so brightly. Kyle thinks if Stan has a tail, he must be wagging it hard right now. He thought Stan was going to give him a bear hug, but he didn’t. Kyle is grateful because the raven head is all sticky and sweaty.

 

“Nothing...uh...just chilling,” says Kyle. He shoots Kenny a glare as he hears the blond snickering. The blond just gives him a look of ‘I told you so’ in return.

 

“Cool,” Stan says as he pulls up his shirt and wipes his face with it. Kyle can do nothing else but stare at his best friend’s killer abs. For the record, Kyle confirms that he is 80% straight.

 

Unaware of his best friend’s rather hungry gaze, Stan sits down and starts chatting with Kenny while petting Kyle’s head. He does it so naturally like the ginger’s head is where his hand belongs. He runs his fingers through Kyle’s ginger curls, gently rubbing the redhead’s scalp. Kyle wants to feel more, so he closes his eyes. Stan’s big hand is rough, calloused and strong yet its movement is soft, delicate and tender. Kyle wonders where Stan learns to give a massage so well. It feels so good that Kyle wants to _purr_. He leans closer to the warmth next to him and rests his head on a hard plane. The heart underneath beats slow and steady, producing a calm and gentle rhythm that is surprisingly pleasant to the ears. Kyle suddenly thinks that it could be the other way round. He could be Stan’s kitty instead of his owner.

 

Kyle snaps out of his daze as he is, once again, appalled at his own thought. Then he realizes that he is basically snuggling into Stan’s arms with his head on Stan’s chest. He quickly pulls away but that doesn’t stop the blood from rushing to his face. In an attempt to distract himself, he looks around and is shocked to find out that Kenny is long gone and so is everyone else. The two of them are the only ones left in the gym.

 

Stan is startled. He frowns slightly as if he’s upset that the moment is ruined. He leans toward the retreating redhead, seeking out those bright green eyes. The way he moves is smooth yet predatory like a wolf. Everywhere Kyle goes, he follows, suffocating him like a smoke. Kyle feels powerless. He feels like all his attempts to escape from this man are destined to be futile, because Stan is the inevitable fate. Finally, their gaze lock. That particular shade of dark blue in those hooded eyes is both serene and dangerous, reminding Kyle of the vast ocean. Kyle feels an invisible hand clutches at his heart. Paralyzed, he can do nothing else but to admire the perfect face before him. He feels a hand sneaks up on his face, gently caressing the smooth skin of his cheek. He shudders at the touch. It is intoxicating. He has lost control of every muscle in his body, but his senses have never been this sharp. Every tiny detail of the contact feels 10 times more intense. Stan keeps leaning closer. The look on Stan’s face is indecipherable. Their faces are only inches away. Kyle breathes fast and shallow. Stan’s breath smells like peppermint and his lips look soft. Kyle wonders how many times Wendy had the privilege to feel those lips. It must be nice to taste them, lick them, suck on them. Kyle’s mind goes blank when Stan opens his mouth--

 

“Your face is so red. Are you having a fever?” Stan asks as he pulls away. He puts a hand on Kyle’s forehead. The redhead quickly swats it away.

 

“I’m just _hot_ ,” Kyle huffs. He scoots to the exit as if he's fleeing from Stan. His heart is still pounding. He denies to himself that he feels disappointed.

 

“ _Yeah, I know_ ,” Stan murmurs to himself, eyes dark.

 

* * *

 

Kyle didn’t know that Stan had been skipping football team’s morning workout sessions, until he witnessed the coach personally came to the hallway and yelled at the quarterback. The furious coach told Stan that the optional early workouts were _not_ optional to varsity players and that Stan better got his ass in the weight room starting from the day after or he’d be sitting on the bench for the entire season. Kyle was worried that he might need to wake Stan up three hours earlier than his usual wake-up time and he didn’t think it’s possible. However, rather miraculously, Stan has no problem to get off his bed at five in the morning while he struggled to get up at eight before. Kyle doesn’t think he understands the world anymore. He just can’t believe that guy.

 

A beautiful morning in September. Kyle goes to school without a certain dark-haired young man hanging around. He goes to his locker and picks up books he needs for the first period. A pair of arms wrap around his neck as he locks the locker door. Then he hears a familiar voice calls his name.

 

“Kyle,” Stan says softly, “I need you.” He takes off Kyle’s hat and press his face to the top of Kyle’s head, breathing into his hair. This is maddening. Kyle wishes his best friend could stop saying things like that; he wishes the raven head could stop acting like that. Kyle tries to imagine Stan as a great dane so that he can calm the fuck down.

 

“Dude, I’m beat,” Stan murmurs, “the coach made me fucking clean everything after training. I didn’t even have time to shower.” No wonder Stan’s natural musky scent is thicker than usual, Kyle thinks. Stan’s deep voice is breathy when he talks low. Kyle can’t trick himself into thinking that Stan is a large dog anymore. No dog smells that good and more importantly, no dog sounds so sexy.

 

“Jeez...you stink.” A blatant lie. Kyle starts to wriggle in the raven head’s embrace, trying to get out. Stan chuckles lowly.

 

“C’mon, dude. It’s not that bad,” says Stan as he opens his arms. Kyle turns back to glare at the smiling raven head.

 

“Dude, give me back my hat.”

 

“After you give me a hug,” says Stan with a lopsided smile, still opening his arms. Kyle had enough of this.

 

“Just give it back to me!” Kyle shouts, “why are you doing this?” He knits his brows together. He doesn’t intend to confront Stan like this, not while they’re in public but he is getting worked up.

 

“Hey, I’m sorry,” Stan coos. He places the hat back on Kyle’s head, helping him to wear it properly. Stan is smiling, yet Kyle catches a flicker of sorrow in the depth of those deep blue eyes.

 

“Do you hate hugging me that much?” Stan asks. He cups Kyle’s face with one hand. His thumb lingers around the redhead’s rosy cheek, feeling the unfreckled skin like he wants to memorize its tenderness, like it is his last. “I’ll stop if you hate it, because I don’t want you to hate me.” Stan says it with so much sincerity that the sentence carries weight. His smile is still on his face, but it is somehow a heart-wrenching sight to behold.

 

All of a sudden Kyle throws himself to Stan. He wraps his arms around the raven head’s waist, squeezing tight. He can feel it in his guts that his best friend is hurt, and he wants to heal him.

 

“I never said that,” Kyle says quietly, “and I will never ever say that to you.” Stan’s body feels tense at first, then the raven head lets himself relax into Kyle’s embrace and then he finally hugs back. It is a moment of bliss for Kyle. No one has ever made Kyle feel this way. No one else but Stan. His best friend. Kyle finds the term wanting. Stan is so much more than that, but he can’t think of a suitable tag that is worthy of Stan.

 

“Stan, what are you to me?” These words escape Kyle’s mouth before he realizes.

 

“Whatever you want me to be” is Stan's instant answer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading and sorry for my clumsy attempt to be more descriptive lol  
> Again, please tell me what you think about this chapter or just talk to me :)
> 
> Wendy will appear in next chapter (uh oh).


	3. Hug Me, I'm Scared

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stan’s girlfriend, Wendy, is perfect in every way, but she and Kyle doesn’t get along. Kyle has to put up with it, because obviously Stan loves her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all your support, especially the kudos and comments! They mean a lot to me.
> 
> I know I said that this fic is about fluff but I think the story would be boring if it's only about fluff. So this chapter is a twist. I personally hate writing this chapter but I hope you'll enjoy it.

Every year, student council collaborates with drama club and glee club to host a musical fundraiser. As a member of student council, Kyle has been busy all month. The show is tomorrow night. Kyle is going to the auditorium to attend the final rehearsal.

 

“Hey Kyle,” says Stan. He walks up to the redhead, squeezing through the crowd in the hallway. “You’re going to the rehearsal, right? Can I come with you?”

 

Kyle looks at the raven head with a blank look on his face. Stan doesn’t pull him into a hug or drape an arm around his shoulder like he used to. He is just standing there, smiling. Although he is standing right in front of him, Kyle feels like they're miles apart from each other. No. He doesn’t want to feel like this. Kyle quickly pushes his feelings away.

 

Kyle puts a weak smile on his face and nods. Stan must really want to go to the show. It's ashamed that he couldn't come as the quarterback has to play in the semi-final football game in Denver on that day.

 

As they walk down the hallway, a girl is stumbling down the stairs, looking like she’s about to fall at any moment. Kyle thinks she must be a freshman because he hasn’t seen her around before. She is holding a box so big that it blocks her front view. The box is full of props and it looks heavy because her thin arms are shaking. Stan rushes to help.

 

“Hey careful,” Stan says as he holds the from the other end, “do you need help?”

 

“Oh,” she blurts, “it’s okay, thanks.” She rushes through her words and ends the sentence with a nervous laugh.

 

The younger girl refuses help but she clearly needs it. Kyle frowns. Stan just smiles and takes the box from her regardless. Now he makes the box look light. “Please, let me help. Where’re you going?”

 

Stan is a real gentleman, a living proof that chivalry is not dead. He is not that kind of guy that only be nice to girls he finds attractive. Stan is nice to everybody, perhaps _too nice_ in Kyle’s opinion. Sometimes Stan is being too kind that he is _mean_. He always gives people what they need, or rather what he thinks they need, even though that is not what they want.

 

“Auditorium,” she says with a small voice and a rosy cheek. The way she looks at Stan-- it’s like he’s a knight in shiny armor coming to her rescue. Kyle manages to remain emotionless, though he very much wants to roll his eyes. He knows that this girl just got a crush on Stan.

 

“We’re going there too,” Stan says. He glances at the props inside the box. “I suppose you’re from drama club? By the way, the name’s Stan.” He gives the girl a smile. Kyle frowns again. He knows that Stan is just trying to be friendly, but Stan has no idea how very charming he is when he smiles.

 

Stan starts to make small talk with the girl so that she doesn’t have to awkwardly tag along. Stan does most of the talking, Kyle is mostly silent, giving lazy single-word responses from time to time and the girl is practically swooning. Kyle thinks if she stares at Stan any longer, she’s going to drool. He snorts. _Poor girl_. He wants to tell her that Stan is already taken.

 

They enter the auditorium. Several groups of people are already there, moving around, minding their own business. As soon as Stan puts the box down, the girl takes her phone out. Kyle guesses that she wants to ask Stan’s number. However, before she can say anything, a sweet female voice calls out to Stan. Kyle turns back to see a noirette walking toward them. He knows this is going to be _fun_.

 

The noirette is Wendy Testaburger and she is beautiful. Her hazel eyes glitters with wisdom and confidence. Her long, silky black hair is worthy of a shampoo commercial. Her porcelain skin is blemishless and her sexy hourglass physique is simply sensational. But Wendy is not just a pretty face. She manages to ace all classes while getting involved in many clubs and activities. Intelligent and beautiful, she is so perfect that she makes many people envy...and she knows it.

 

Kyle is not surprised to see Wendy here since she is the president of drama club and the leading actress in the musical. He always feels awkward around Wendy. He doesn’t think they’d ever talk if he wasn’t Stan’s best friend and she wasn’t Stan’s girlfriend. Although Wendy is his long-term academic rival, Kyle doesn’t hold a grudge against her. He even tried to get along with her but with no success.

 

“ _Baby_ , you didn’t tell me you’d come!” Wendy says in a way too sweet voice. She walks up to Stan, stands on her tiptoes and then gives him a kiss on the cheek. Her possessive hand creeps on his arm, holding on tight. Kyle smirks to himself. Wendy does exactly what he thinks she’ll do. She acts sweet but what she’s actually doing is marking her territory. The pet name, the sweet voice, the arm holding-- everything she does conveys a message, that is _Stan belongs to her_ . Kyle knows it because that’s the treatment he always gets. Wendy is a competitive and possessive _bitch_ and she gets extra-bitchy when it comes to Stan.

 

“Oh, thank you so much for helping.” Wendy acts like she just discovers the other girl’s presence. She is still ignoring Kyle though, but he doesn’t give a fuck. She smiles at the girl but there’s no warmth in that smile. In fact, her gaze is freezing cold. “I think Bebe is looking for you. She needs some help on costumes.”

 

Kyle knows that’s probably a lie. He feels pity for the girl, because the threatening look in Wendy’s eyes right now is basically screaming ‘fuck off from my boyfriend.’ Apparently, Wendy gets her message across. Frightened, the other girl nervously nods, then scuttles away. _Poor girl_. He should’ve warned her.

 

“I’m just stopping by,” Stan says, completely oblivious of his girlfriend’s passive-aggressiveness, “gotta go to a team meeting in a bit though, for tomorrow’s game.”

 

Wendy smiles at him sweetly. A genuine smile this time. She wraps her arm around his waist and flirtily runs her fingers around his chest.

 

“Well, big boy,” she says, her voice low and sultry, “if you win tomorrow, you're going to get it at night.” She gives him a suggestive wink and that makes Stan’s eyes burn with desire. He gives her a wolfish grin and his hands traces the alluring curves of her body. Then he leans down--

 

Kyle thinks it’s a good time for him to take his leave. He isn’t interested in watching them kissing and he certainly has zero interest in their future hookup plan. He refuses to be annoyed by their PDA or be offended about being ignored. He would rather feel numb. Numb is a better feeling.

 

But he can’t help feeling lost.

 

In that morning Stan said he could be whatever Kyle wanted, but before Kyle figured anything out, Stan chose an answer for him. All of a sudden he switched to friend mode. No more nuzzling, no more sweet talk, no more hugs, even though Kyle told him that he didn’t hate hugging him. Stan is kind. Stan is _thoughtful_. He always gives people what he thinks they need. Kyle once thought if Stan stopped acting weird, things would get back to normal. As it turns out, they don’t. He couldn’t get used to the new distance between them. He feels that something has been changed and it can’t go back to the way it was. He doesn’t know if it is just him because Stan appears to be perfectly fine with the current arrangement. Kyle somehow feels like Stan shuts the door on him and now he is stuck in the middle of nowhere.

 

* * *

 

 

Finally, the show is over. Kyle had a long day. He just wants to go home and jumps into bed. The redhead goes to the storage room backstage to grab his bag before heading home. When he puts his hand on the door handle, he hears a loud thud coming from inside the room, followed by a girl’s raged roar.

 

“Fuck you, Stan! Fuck you!” Kyle recognizes Wendy’s voice right away. He can hear her crying loudly behind the door.

 

OK, awkward. Kyle believes that this is his first time hearing Wendy Testaburger drop the F bomb. He has never seen Wendy loses her shit like this. She's always so perfect and calm and confident. The redhead stands still outside the room, not knowing what to do. He needs to grab his things but he seriously doesn’t want to walk into that room right now. Maybe he should wait for a bit? But how long is she going to cry? Kyle is tired and he really wants to go home and flop on his bed.

 

Kyle decided that he loves his bed more than anything. He takes a deep breath, braces himself before knocking on the door.

 

“Um...may I come in?” Kyle asks hesitatingly.

 

Wendy immediately lowers her volume, but the rhythmic sound of gasps and hiccups of suppressed sobs can still be heard. She doesn’t say anything, so Kyle keeps waiting. After a while, she says yes. Kyle opens the door.

 

Wendy is sitting on the floor, sobbing. Her phone is haphazardly left on the floor. Various old props are scattered everywhere. Kyle thinks this is going to be super awkward, but there's no turning back now.

 

“Are you alright?” Kyle asks. He approaches to the noirette with caution. Honestly, he wants to just grab his bag and go, but no decent human being would do that.

 

Silence.

 

“No,” the noirette says eventually. Her shoulders convulse. Her face is buried in her hands.

 

Shit. Had she said yes, Kyle could have said something like ‘take care’ and gone home. Yet, she said no. Now the redhead doesn’t know what the hell he is supposed to do. Although Kyle doesn’t really like her much, he can't just leave her crying alone, especially when she has told him that she was not okay.

 

Kyle sighs. He taps on the noirette’s shoulder and hands a pack of tissues which he just took out of his pocket to her. The noirette looks at the tissue pack, then looks at the redhead. Kyle is shocked because she looks nothing like her usual pretty self.

 

Wendy looks miserable.

 

Her eyes are all red and puffy and her eyeliners melt off horribly. It looks like she's crying black tears. The noirette takes the tissue pack and lets out a quiet ‘thanks’.

 

Kyle doesn't know what to say. Now he genuinely feels pity for her. He sits next to the noirette, keeping her company.

 

The heavy silence in the room is smothering.

 

“He...he’d rather go to the god...goddamn party than s-spending a night with me.” Wendy finally breaks the silence. Her speech is fragmentized because she is sobbing. Kyle is surprised to hear this. He remembers that lustful look in Stan’s eyes. Stan seemed to be eager to claim his prize a day ago. What has changed?

 

“Why...why would he d-do that?” The noirette asks, her voice cracks, “is he...is he going to f-fuck some whores in the party?” Kyle frowns deeply. He thinks Wendy is being ridiculous. Maybe Stan hurts her ego, but is it necessary to freak out like this? And how dare she suspect Stan of cheating. Stan is such a catch, the best boyfriend/husband material ever. He is the most loyal and sweetest person Kyle has ever known. Wendy should trust him more.

 

“He never...never makes time for m-me. I...I don’t know w-what...he is thinking,” she continues to rant, “one moment...he is interested in you and...he doesn’t in the next...Does he really love me?” She trails off into sobs.

 

Kyle thinks this should be the time for him to assure her that Stan loves her but the words disappear when they reach to his throat. Somehow he couldn’t say those words out loud. He thinks now he can understand why she is upset. He had no idea that she feels so insecure about her relationship with Stan. He always thought that Wendy is just a possessive bitch but now he feels sorry for her. He thinks he can even empathize with her because he got a taste of Stan’s fickleness too. In fact, what Wendy said is exactly what Kyle feels. Kyle doesn’t know what Stan is thinking either. One moment Stan acts like he wants more and the next he acts like a normal friend. Stan changes his attitude so easily like a flick of the switch. It is _scary_. Kyle can imagine the suffering that Wendy must have gone through when Stan keeps flickering between on and off.

 

Suddenly, the noirette turns her head to scowl at Kyle. A glint of green flashes in those hazel eyes.

 

“You...you have no idea, don’t you? You don’t get to see his bullshit,” Wendy says, her voice eerily calm, “you always, always get his full attention without effort....while I’ll have to fight for it.”

 

Kyle feels like he is being accused of a crime that he didn’t commit. There is so much venom in her voice that Kyle can taste the bitterness of her jealousy. Her eyes are burning with pure hatred. Kyle is petrified, as if he has been cursed by looking at the eyes of Medusa.

 

“I don’t need your pity...I’m not giving up,” Wendy says. The noirette grabs her phone and leaves the room, slamming the door behind her.

 

Overwhelmed, Kyle is still frozen. The raw malice directed to him came out of nowhere. He doesn’t know what he did to deserve it.

 

* * *

 

 

The bell of last period rings, marking the end of another uneventful school day. Kyle shoves everything into his bag, then leaves the classroom. He goes to his locker and then starts putting his stuff in it.

 

Suddenly, Kyle feels that someone takes his hat off. The redhead quickly turns back to see Cartman running away with Kyle’s hat in his hand, laughing. The redhead immediately drops everything and runs after him. For someone of his weight, Cartman runs pretty fast, but Kyle runs faster. When the redhead is about to catch him, the fat brunet stops and throws the hat forward to another boy, who immediately bolts away. Nonetheless, the redhead still catches the brunet.

 

“Asshole! Give me back my hat!” Kyle yells at him, even though the fat boy doesn’t have his hat anymore. He grabs Cartman’s collar. The bigger teen just laughs.

 

“Woah, watch it, Jew,” Cartman sneers, “Obviously, I don’t have it. Ask someone who does, dumbass.”

 

The redhead balls his fist. When he is about to punch the shit out of that fuckface, Mr. Mackey walks out of a classroom.

 

“Mkay, what are you two doing?” Mr. Mackey says, “Kyle, let him go, mkay?”

 

Tsk. Kyle reluctantly releases his grip. There is nothing he can do but to watch Cartman walks away with a smug face.

 

Fuck this shit. Everything is so shit. Kyle doesn’t care about anything anymore. He doesn’t even want his hat back. He just wants to go home. The redhead walks back to his locker. He slams the locker door shut after shoving everything in the locker.

 

On his way to the main entrance, Kyle catches sight of Stan and Wendy from a distance. They’re walking toward his direction, holding hands with interlocked fingers. Wendy reverts to her usual perfect self. She is smiling at Stan sweetly and Stan returns the smile.

 

An invisible smoke burns into the green eyes.

 

Noticing his friend’s gaze, Stan waves at the redhead. Kyle turns back and runs away. He bolts out of the school door and runs straight ahead, not thinking where he is going. Cold, dry air burns through his windpipe as he runs. He feels sick. He hears Stan calling his name from behind, but he keeps on running, though he doesn’t know why he is running away.

 

Stan finally catches Kyle when they run to Stark’s Pond. He grabs on Kyle’s arm, turning the redhead around to face him.

 

“Kyle...what happened?” Stan asks, panting. The usual calm look in his ocean blue eyes is nowhere to be found. His eyes are now filled with concern and fear.

 

Kyle just made his best friend ditch his girlfriend to chase after him. He looks down to the ground, avoiding his friend’s gaze. His throat hurts as a big lump appears and continues to swell. He doesn’t know what to tell Stan. He feels so stupid. He has absolutely no reason to cry, but he can’t stop the tears welling up in his eyes.

 

“Kyle, I’m sorry...I’m so sorry dude. Please, don’t cry. Please...don’t run away from me,” Stan says softly. His voice is strained, sounding like he is about to cry too. His hands clutches onto Kyle’s shoulders tightly like his life hangs on it.

 

Tears silently stream down the redhead's face, dropping down to his shoes. He hears the sounds of birds twittering and Stan’s soft-spoken pleading. Kyle doesn’t know why Stan is apologizing. He shivers as a cold wind blows at him. Stan pulls him into his embrace.

 

Kyle didn’t know how much he missed it until now.

 

He can no longer hold back. He finally embraces all negative feelings he hid in the closet and lets himself cry openly in Stan’s arm. Tears flow down his cheeks like two rivers, washing away the loneliness and grievance he felt and ignored. Bit by bit, the heavy weight that he didn’t know he’s carrying is fading away. He can hear himself crying so loudly that is embarrassing, but it is also cathartic. He hasn’t cried this hard since he’s ten. Stan holds him like a fortress. He makes Kyle feel so safe like he’ll shield him from all the bad in the world. His big hands gently rub Kyle’s back, trying to comfort the redhead. Gradually, Kyle is calmed down. Kyle feels like he can melt into Stan’s warmth. He takes a deep breath to inhale Stan’s musky scent. The familiar scent is soothing and relaxing. Kyle just realizes how much he loves everything...everything of Stan.

 

“I miss you,” Kyle suddenly says.

 

“I’m right here.” Stan lands a kiss on Kyle’s head. Kyle wants to thank Cartman for stealing his hat. He pulls himself closer to Stan, holding on tight to him.

 

“...Don’t leave me,” Kyle whispers.

 

“I’ll never leave you, dude,” Stan murmurs, fondling Kyle’s ginger curls, “ _I love you._ ”

 

Stan says that to him again. The genuine fondness in his voice makes Kyle’s heart flutter with joy. He thinks he may be in love with Stan, maybe he loves him all along. When he is about to confess to his best friend, Wendy’s weeping voice appears in his head.

 

_“One moment...he is interested in you and...he doesn’t in the next...”_

 

Kyle’s voice gets lost in the nothingness. Does Stan really mean what he thinks he means?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't worry, things are going up next chapter...I think?
> 
> Comments and kudos are very much appreciated :)


	4. I Have One Desire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kyle has a crush on his best friend and Stan continues to pamper his best friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading :) I can't thank you guys enough for all your support! 
> 
> Things are looking up as promised. I absolutely enjoyed writing this chapter. I hope you'll enjoy this as much as I do.

Kyle is falling. He feels like he is slowly sinking in the deep. He can see nothing, only an occasional glimmer of light in a distance. The surroundings are a very deep shade of blue that is almost black. It is quiet, only a muffled voice echoes in the void, sounding like it’s underwater. The deep voice is low and velvety. There is some sort of strange familiarity to that voice. Sometimes it sounds like it’s confessing, sometimes it’s pleading, sometimes it’s calling. Kyle wants to listen to what the voice is saying but it is difficult to focus. All he knows is that it is calling his name over and over again. His name sounds so sexy in that voice and the longing in the voice is palpable, unleashing an unspeakable desire deep within.

 

He hopes it is Stan calling him like that.

 

Suddenly, he is pulled back to that day in the gym. Kyle is half-lying on the bleachers. He props himself on his elbows, facing up. Stan is hovering on top of him. He uses one hand to caress the ginger’s cheek and puts the other beside the ginger’s head. Kyle is trapped but he has no intention to escape. His heart and soul are captivated by those dark, ocean blue eyes. His body is paralyzed with anticipation as he recognizes that particular look-- the same lustful look that Stan gave Wendy in the rehearsal.

 

Stan leans in, closing the distance inch by inch until his lips presses on Kyle’s. Finally. The redhead lets out a sigh of content. Stan’s lips are as soft as he imagined. Stan starts off with gentle chaste kisses, but then he is getting more and more greedy. He hungrily licks, nips, sucks the redhead’s lips like a thirsty man drinking long-desired water. Kyle’s heart is racing. A heat spreads through his body with every heartbeat. He wants to return the kisses but he can’t move. This is agonizing. Why can’t he move?

 

“Kyle, wake up!”

 

Kyle’s eyes snap open. The first thing he sees is Stan sitting at the bedside, looking down at him. Soft sunlight spills on the raven head’s perfectly sculpted face. His deep blue eyes shimmer, reminding Kyle of what happened in his dream. The redhead blushes as he looks away. The sensation of a wet, hot tongue on his lips is too real. Is that really just a dream? He touches his lips, but rather disappointingly, his lips are dry, so dry that they are chapped.

 

“Morning,” says Stan with a smile so warm that it can melt all the snow outside. Ever since football season ended, Stan decided to be Kyle’s human alarm clock so as to “return the favor”. Kyle doesn’t think it is necessary but he is not complaining. He is actually impressed that Stan is able to keep his word because, to be honest, Stan is kind of a slacker and a night owl who isn’t very good at waking up early.

 

“...Morning,” Kyle mumbles as he gets up, eyes downcast. He guesses it is official that he has the biggest crush on his best friend. Lately, he gets weird dreams like the last one almost every night. The dreams are embarrassing enough and waking up to see the subject of those dreams makes things worse. However, that doesn’t mean Kyle isn’t thrilled to see Stan in his room.

 

The redhead keeps his eyes fixed on the floor. He gets off the bed and quickly walks to the wardrobe, turning his back on Stan the entire time in an attempt to hide his morning boner. Stan doesn’t say anything which is a good sign, but Kyle is still nervous as he feels a pair of blue eyes training on him. He randomly picks something to wear for today. When he closes the wardrobe door, he steals a glance at Stan’s reflection on the mirror, just to confirm if the raven head notices anything. He almost drops his clothes when he sees that Stan is staring back at him through the mirror.

 

“I’ll wait for you downstairs,” Stan says as he stands up. He casually rubs the ginger’s head before leaving the room. Once the raven head is gone, Kyle buries his blushing face in his clothes, muffling a silent scream. His heart is pounding so hard that he thinks it is going to burst. Stan almost killed him with that knowing smirk on his face.

 

Kyle spends more time in the shower than usual. When he finally joins his family at the table, everyone has almost finished their plate. Stan is also at the table. He is gleefully talking to Sheila as she serves him presumably a second stack of pancakes. Stan has a way with people, older women especially. His good looks and nice manners make him very popular among moms. Sheila always likes Stan and Kyle thinks his mom likes his best friend slash crush a little bit too much. Ever since Stan started to come over in the morning, breakfasts in the Broflovski household are upgraded from cereals to a variety of dishes such as pancakes, home fries, omelets and French toasts. It is a nice change and again, Kyle is not complaining.

 

Kyle quickly finishes his plate and then heads out with Stan. The world outside is cold and snowy. Sheila kisses both of them goodbye before they leave.

 

“Your mom is so nice,” Stan says as they walk to the bus stop. White steam comes out of his mouth as he speaks. Kyle smiles brightly at him.

 

“She is only nice when you’re around,” Kyle says, “she is mean for the rest of the time.” Though he says it in a joking voice, Kyle means it. Sheila Broflovski is a tiger mom, but when Stan is around, she softens up and transforms into something completely opposite. Kyle’s little brother Ike once came up with a silly idea of making their parents adopt Stan. Their parent of course ignored him but Kyle still thinks it is actually quite a brilliant idea.

 

Stan smiles back, not saying anything in return. The two friends continue to walk in silence. Kyle doesn’t feel awkward at all. They basically see each other every day since preschool and it is only natural that sometimes they run out of things to say. But Kyle still wants to spend time with Stan, even in silence, because he just enjoys Stan’s company. He knows that Stan feels the same because even though he has a girlfriend, he still dedicates most of his free time to him. A warm and fuzzy feeling grows in Kyle’s stomach despite the cold weather. Kyle once again realizes just how much he loves Stan.

 

“Thank you,” Kyle suddenly says, staring down at the ground. He wanted to say so much more, but this is what he managed to get through. A hint of blush creeps over his cheeks and Kyle knows it isn’t the cold wind. His voice is uncharacteristically small, barely loud enough for Stan to hear.

 

“What for?” Stan asks.

 

“Everything,” Kyle answers after a long pause, still looking down, “you make everything better.” This earns a low chuckle from Stan.

 

“Anytime, dude,” Stan beams. He puts a hand on Kyle’s head and says, “actually, I wanna ask you a long time ago… Where is your hat?”

 

“Cartman stole it,” Kyle groans. A look of annoyance flashes across Stan’s face.

 

“Thought so. Do you want it back?”

 

“No,” Kyle says without hesitation, “who knows what he did to it?” Stan chuckles again.

 

“Good point.” He takes off his puff ball beanie and puts it on Kyle’s head. “You can have mine.”

 

“You don’t have to--”

 

“I want you to have it.” Stan cuts off his words with a charming smile. Kyle instantly feels warmer and it is not because of the hat. The warm and fuzzy feeling in his stomach just becomes stronger and stronger, and it is going to consume him whole. But Kyle doesn’t care because he is a willing victim.

 

Stan is a motherfucking genius of making people love him.

 

* * *

 

“Kahl!” Kyle ignores the voice calling him from a distance and continues to pick up what he needs from his locker.

 

“Kahl!” Kyle just hates how Cartman pronounces his name wrong. He knows the guy has some sort of speech impediment but he is convinced that Cartman deliberately mispronounces his name just to annoy him.

 

“What?” Kyle shouts as he slams the locker door shut. He turns back to see Cartman holding his old green ushanka. That big grin on the scheming brunet’s face is never a good sign. Kyle has a feeling that the fat teen is planning something nefarious.

 

“You deaf, Kahl?” Cartman says, “woah your lips are fucked up. Use lip balm, dude.”

 

“My lips are not your concern, thank you.” Kyle’s cold reply sounds almost robotic. However, he is surprised that Cartman notices little things like that. He actually uses lip balm and refrains himself from licking his lips but his lips somehow still crack. Maybe he should drink more water.

 

“W-well I don’t mean...” Cartman stutters, which is rare, but he quickly recovers. “Anyways, here you are.” The fat brunet hands the ushanka to Kyle, the redhead skeptically eyes his own old hat instead of taking it.

 

“What is this? Is it some kind of a trick?” Kyle’s distrust is written all over his face. The brunet is deflated.

 

“A peace offering.”

 

“You’re returning something back to its rightful owner. It’s not an offering, Cartman,” Kyle says, still not taking the hat. The brunet is annoyed.

 

“Do you want it back or not?”

 

“No, you can keep it,” Kyle says almost instantly. Cartman is confused until he recognizes Stan’s puff ball beanie on Kyle’s head.

 

“Ha, nice hat, huh?” he sneers. The fat brunet reaches out to touch the puff ball beanie, but the redhead swats his hand away before he can lay hands on it.

 

“Ow! What the--” Before Cartman can finish his sentence, Kyle lunges at him. The furious redhead jabs his locker keys in the brunet’s neck and starts to yell at the brunet at the top of his lungs.

 

“Don’t you fucking touch it Cartman! Keep that one and stay the fuck away from this one or I’ll fucking kill you! I’m gonna fucking push these keys in your eyes! Do you fucking understand me?”

 

“Yes! OK?” Cartman says, his voice tight. He is astounded by the murderous look in those bright green eyes. For a moment he thought Kyle put a knife to his throat, but still, the keys jabbed into his neck are quite sharp and he is afraid that they’re going to break his skin. He stands completely still and raises his hands up in surrender. The redhead keeps glaring daggers at him for a while, then he finally removes those pointy keys which leave several deep marks on the brunet’s skin. Cartman lets out a sigh of relief. He rubs his neck and huffs, “Hell, you like _his_ hat that much?”

 

“Yes! I _love_ it very, very much!” Kyle blurts out loudly. He only realizes how eerily quiet the hallway is after his outburst. Then he realizes that he is the center of attention of everyone in the hallway. The redhead blushes deeply as he feels like he just publicly confesses his scandalous crush on Stan. He immediately bolts away, fleeing from everyone’s curious gaze.

 

* * *

 

Christmas is very boring for those who don’t celebrate it. Unfortunately, Kyle belongs to one of the few communities which don’t celebrate the so-called most beautiful time of the year. So here he is, staying at home, doing nothing while everybody else are busy celebrating.

 

Kyle gets back to his room after dinner. He lies on his bed, playing with his phone. He scrolls through Instagram, looking at all those pictures of people having fun. He smiles as he sees a picture of Kenny wearing his underwear on the outside. The blond must be drunk. He keeps scrolling until he sees Wendy’s selfie taken in front of a mirror. She looks happy and breathtakingly beautiful as always. Kyle doesn’t need to read the caption to know that she’s getting ready for her date with Stan tonight. He closes the app and haphazardly throws his phone away.

 

Kyle is lying on his back, staring blankly to the ceiling. He thinks it is only fair to let the poor girl have her boyfriend back in Christmas for once because Kyle takes up pretty much 90% of Stan’s time. He might even feel guilty if the noirette didn’t give him nasty look every time she saw him. He pulls out Stan’s puff ball beanie beneath a pillow and lifts it up in mid-air, staring at it.

 

He guesses he should be grateful for what he has. It is quite clear that Stan places him before his girlfriend. Stan also told him many times that he loved him, though the redhead doesn’t think Stan loves him _that way_. Stan may get too touchy-feely but he never touches him that way, never looks at him that way. But unfortunately, Kyle loves Stan that way. He wants to tell Stan how much he loves him, but he doesn’t want to risk what he already has. He doesn’t want to make things awkward and eventually pushes Stan away. So he guesses he should be grateful for what he has.

 

Kyle puts the beanie down on his face, kissing on it. He pulls the beanie down, holding it in his chest, thinking he will be okay. He sheds a single tear as he closes his eyes. Eventually, he drifts off to sleep.

 

…

 

The phone rings and shatters the silence in the room. Kyle gropes for his phone with his eyes half-closed. He doesn’t know how long he has slept but he is sure that it is late at night. All his sleepiness goes away when he sees that Stan is the caller. He picks up the call right away.

 

“Stan?” Kyle’s voice sounds a bit hoarse.

 

“Hey...did I wake you up?”

 

“No...” But Kyle can’t suppress a yawn. Stan chuckles lowly.

 

“Sorry dude, but...can you open the door?”

 

“Huh?”

 

“The door. Of your house. I'm outside. It’s freezing.”

 

“Wh- Um...OK. I’m coming,” Kyle splutters as his heart flutters. He hangs up and rushes downstairs to the front door.

 

Kyle opens the door and sees a handsome, tall man leaning nonchalantly beside the door. Stan has dressed up for his date tonight. He looks fucking great in his black wool overcoat. Kyle particularly loves how he styles his quiff. It really brings out his defined cheekbones and jawlines. The raven head carries a sweet, malty scent of beer, but he looks sober. He greets the redhead and walks inside the house in steady gait. Kyle wonders why he is here.

 

“Shouldn’t you be with your girlfriend right now?” Kyle asks, following Stan upstairs to his own bedroom. He hates that he sounds blunt and jealous. He is actually elated to see Stan and he wants him to know that.

 

Stan gives him a wry smile. Under the lamp light, Kyle notices an unnatural redness on Stan’s cheek, as if he has been hit. Stan takes off his coat once he entered the bedroom. He slumps to the floor and lies flat. The scent of beer becomes stronger. Then Kyle notices a huge wet stain which is very likely to be beer on Stan’s chest.

 

“We broke up,” Stan states emotionlessly. Kyle didn’t see that coming. He suspected something had happened with Wendy but he didn’t expect that they broke up. He thinks he is probably being self-important but he wonders if he has anything to do with it. However, he doesn't know what to feel if he does.

 

Stan lies listlessly on the floor, staring blankly at the ceiling, his eyes hollow like two black holes. It breaks Kyle’s heart to see Stan looks so devastated. He hates that Stan is devastated because of Wendy.

 

So Stan does love her after all.

 

“I’m sorry,” Kyle says under his breath. He wishes he has better words. He drops down to his knees beside the raven head, looking down at him. The color on Stan’s cheek deepens, forming a bruise. He gently touches Stan’s wounded cheek, thinking Wendy probably threw a beer bottle at him. His brows furrow. Now he hates Wendy.

 

“I feel like shit...” Stan says, shifting his hollow gaze to Kyle, “no, I'm shit. The shittiest person ever.”

 

“No! You're the best person ever, also the kindest, wisest, bravest, sweetest person I’ve ever known. You're the best, Stan. You're the best.” Kyle blurts out his entire speech in one breath. A weak smile appears on Stan’s face.

 

“You always make me feel so good about myself,” Stan says as his hand creeps on Kyle’s, holding it against his face, “...like I’m perfect, but I'm a selfish prick, Kyle. I'm the worst… Would you still want to be my friend? Even though I'm a filthy piece of shit?”

 

“I'm proud to call you my best friend, Stan,” Kyle says. He leans down so that Stan can look into his bright green eyes, so that Stan can see how much he means it. “I'll always be with you.” Clarity returns to Stan’s dark blue eyes, as if they are lighted up.

 

“C’mere,” Stan says and Kyle gladly obeys. He lies down with him, resting his head on the taller boy’s chest, not minding the beer stain. Stan immediately wraps an arm around his waist.

 

“Kyle, I love you.”

 

“I love you too, Stan,” Kyle says while hearing Stan’s steady heartbeat.

 

* * *

 

Stan feels cold. He opens his eyes and finds out that he’s lying on the floor with Kyle in his arms. They just fell asleep on the floor together last night. Stan smiles as he feels blissful waking up next to such an angelic sleeping face. He pulls the redhead closer and kisses on his lips. Stan wantonly licks and sucks on his sleeping friend’s lips, knowing that the ginger won’t wake up. He is sure because he does it every morning and Kyle never wakes up. Feeling confident, he pushes a little bit further this time. His mouth travels down to the neck, leaving a wet trail along the way. His hand goes to the redhead’s nipple and he is surprised to find it stiff and pointed. A mischievous smirk creeps on the raven head’s face. He leans down and bites on the shirt-clad nipple. This earns a moan from the redhead who is still in his dream. Amused, Stan further teases the redhead by gently pulling the nipple with his teeth before letting go.

 

“Kyle, wake up,” Stan says softly. He shakes him a little but the sleeping redhead is unresponsive. The raven head deepens his smile.

 

“Kyle,” he whispers to his friend’s ears, “you don’t understand. I was a dick to date her while I love you the entire time. I thought you’d never love me back...not the way I love you. I used to think being your best friend is good enough, but I’m getting greedy lately, Kyle… You let me touch you and you said you loved me, but do you know what it means?” He slides his hand down the redhead’s spine to grab at his thick ass. The sleeping redhead lets out a sound that is a half groan, half moan. The raven head chuckles. “Maybe later then. Don’t push me away. I don’t think I can go back to be a friend this time.”

 

Stan carries the redhead to the bed in bridal style and tucks him in. He leaves a kiss on his forehead before leaving.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy the good stuff towards the end? There'll be more in next chapter ;) But I think it'll take me longer to post an update because I will be pretty busy with my work later on. Why do we have to work anyways...
> 
> Leave me a kudos and a comment if you like what you read :D


	5. Flames So Hot That They Turn Blue (Part 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stan's a creep lol

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this is a short update. Originally, I planned to write 3 parts in chapter 5 but it took me too long to write and I felt like I should just post something. Hopefully I'll finish the rest of this chapter in Easter. Not promising anything though.
> 
> **Rating is changed to Mature from now on**

Stan enters his bedroom and slams the door behind him, blocking the sounds of his parents bickering downstairs. He just came back from football practice and he is exhausted, both physically and mentally. The practice itself is tough enough and having the coach yelling non-stop like a wounded hippo makes him want to punch someone in the face. All he wants is a moment of peace at home but he can’t even have that because his parents have to scream at each other over the stupidest things. What are they arguing this time? Toilet seat. They care about their fucking toilet seat more than their own son. Sometimes Stan wonders if it is a punishment to be born in this stupid dysfunctional family.

 

He kicks his shoes off, then collapses onto his bed. Defeated. Spring semester has been brutal on him. Classes are more difficult than ever and there’s always a shit load of homework waiting for him. What’s worse is that Kyle is not in any classes he takes.

 

He lets out a sigh. _Kyle_ . He has missed him all day, his fiery red hair and the sweet, soapy scent it carries, also the thinness of his waist and the softness of his skin. He closes his eyes. How he wishes Kyle is here with him. He wants to hold him in his arms, feel the redhead’s warm body pressed against his chest. Kyle wouldn’t like being held like that but he wouldn’t push him away. He would look up and slightly frowns at him, or maybe he would say ‘dude’ in protest and pout a little while dragging on the vowel. He would look annoyed but the tell-tale blush on his face would give his true feelings away. Stan can’t help but chuckle. He loves that look on his face. Those beautiful green eyes are imbued with the innocence he has sworn to protect yet always longs to sully. Stan shudders, a heat pooling in his stomach. _Oh Kyle._ He knows he shouldn’t be lusting after his best friend but he has surrendered to his demon long ago. He feels like he is going crazy. Primeval instincts and dark desires tainted his thoughts. He wants to see his smile but also wants to make him cry; wants to keep him safe but also wants to make a mess of him. God he wants to do so many things to him. _Terrible things._ Given the opportunity, he would tear his clothes off, tie him up and kiss all over his lithe body. Oh yeah he could lick him all day, and he would definitely give extra attention to that sweet, tight hole of his. Then he would impale him with his hot, hard cock in one deep thrust. Kyle would scream. He would scream and squirm under him. Kyle would hate him for betraying their friendship and his trust. No doubt. His teary green eyes would be filled with fear and disbelief. It would be a heartbreaking sight, but Stan would also find it erotic to see him like this: so vulnerable, so needy. He would pound him to the mattress until the redhead gives in to pleasure. Stan swears that he doesn’t take pleasure in torturing Kyle but he has to claim him so that no one can hurt his sweet, lovely Kyle.

 

No one else but him.

 

Stan’s eyes snap open, his breaths choppy. He looks down to see an evident bulge in his pants. He sighs as he runs his fingers through his face. Guilt soon forms a heavy weight in his chest. It hurts -- both his heart and his throbbing cock. He is dying to hear Kyle’s voice right now. He takes his phone out of his pocket.


End file.
